Hanamichi avoided Rukawa's gaze the entire day in school, and as soon as it was over, dashed out of class. The pain of last night's rejection had jolted Rukawa's pride in full force, and he would not bow down anymore.

Sendoh was waiting for Hanamichi at the usual corner. Today, the redhead was uncharacteristically silent. After weeks of companionship, he had opened up a lot more to the older boy, but now he was back to that unreceptive, silent teenager he had been when Sendoh had first confronted him. They got in the cab to go to the clinic for his daily treatment, and the silence grew oppressive. Sendoh bit on his lip thoughtfully.

"Hana, what's wrong?" and expected a retort along the lines of "Nothing's wrong."

A gulp from the redhead alerted Sendoh to the fact that something was, in fact, terribly wrong. He scooted closer to Hanamichi on the seat and hugged him gently. "Want to tell me about it?"

All day Hanamichi had somehow felt close to tears. He had never been so depressed, or felt so abandoned. No one but Sendoh knew about his condition, and he could talk to nobody because if they knew…he brushed the thought and the fear that accompanied it aside. If they knew…

He looked at Sendoh's face, where care and worry was etched, and noted the blue eyes. Like the fox's…

Surrendering himself to the devastation he felt inside himself, he closed his eyes and wept on Sendoh's shoulder.

Kitsune, I know I hurt you when I pushed you away…can you ever forgive me? I can't accept you. It's not like I don't want to. My heart and mind yearn for you, as does my very skin when I think about you. But to do so…to give in to my desires…would be to condemn you forever to death along with me. It's not right that both of us should go. I won't let you, Kaede…

@@@

Sendoh listened thoughtfully. He comforted Hanamichi but he knew.

There's nothing I can say to take the hurt away. Then an idea came to him, and he mulled over it as Hanamichi was in the treatment room. I can't say anything to make it better, Hana, but I'll be damned if I sit here and watch you spend the last of your life crying over something you can reach.

@@@

After the redhead had finished and was sitting outside waiting for his medication, Sendoh made a small excuse and slipped into the consultation room to speak to the doctor. He was smiling when he returned and when he sent Hanamichi home in what had become their routine, before directing the driver somewhere else. In his bag, a plain brown envelope held all the answers.

@@@

"What do you want?"

Sendoh vaguely recalled the incident, only then it had been the other way around. Only it appeared that in this role reversal the boy with expressionless face and burning eyes might not even wait to hear the answer before slamming the door in his face. He stuck a foot in the doorway just in case, and rummaged in his bag, handing the brown envelope to Rukawa.

"Read it," he said simply, taking his foot away and turning around where the cab waited to take him home. And you'll know what you want, Rukawa. You'll know what you want.

End of part 7