PART 4: SECRETS

"Hana…" Rukawa can't explain the euphoria he is feeling right at that moment. Finally, he heard his Hana say he loves him, that he still loves him even after knowing about Sendoh. His overflowing happiness is openly shown for anyone to see. Parting from his lover's lips, he raised his hands and caressed the face of his love… trailing kisses to where his hands had touched. Each caress an indication of how he feels for the redhead.

Unnoticed by the couple, a pair of deep blue pained eyes takes in the scene before him with a heavy heart. [Sakuragi and Rukawa. Two people, who most people before thought hated each other.] Looking at them, he feels slightly envious of their love, wishing he could have it as well. When he saw how the former cold expressionless face of the ice prince softened with pure love and happiness for the redhead, Sendoh knew that Rukawa have never loved him. [Not that way.] That admission pained him to no end. [What was I then? A replacement? Someone to pacify his physical needs?] Maddened by that notion, Sendoh clenched his fist and held back the tears that threatened to fall. [No, it's not over yet.] Standing up, he strode to where the lovers are and then stopped… [Kaede…] His chest suddenly contracted… [what a beautiful smile…if only he'd smile for me before…but…] Shaking his head, he continued on his way and stood just behind Sakuragi.

"There's still something you should know Sakuragi."

Rukawa stiffened when he heard Sendoh's voice. In the midst of his happiness, he had forgotten about his ex-lover and his intentions. "Go away Sendoh. I am not interested in anything else that you have to say." He heard his Hana say, still wearing that warm smile.

"Are you sure Hana-kun? I think there is still one important information you do not know."

Whirling around to face Sendoh, "What are you talking about? You can't hurt us, not anymore. I know that Kaede loves me and not you. Come on kitsune, let's leave this guy. I've had enough of smiley here to last me a decade." He felt Hana reach for his hand and was about to follow when they heard Sendoh say.

"Well Kaede, should I have the pleasure of shattering your Hana-kun's perfect world or would you do the honors?" Sendoh taunted.

"Just leave Sendoh. Go back to America." Rukawa said. "You can't hurt us anymore." His face is now a mask of cold anger, hiding the fear that grips his heart at the realization of what Sendoh intended to do.

"Damn you Rukawa." Sendoh shouted. "How could you be so cold? How could you throw me aside, just for him? What has he got that I don't? Has it always been him? You're precious redhead?" Sendoh rambled, his voice, bitter. "He hated you, he never even looked at you before. Never even listened. Well, I DID! I have been to you what he was not. Why can't you forget him and love me instead?" Sendoh's voice is now shaking.

Rukawa just continued looking at him with the same blank expression, and with ice in his voice he said, "You have always known that I have feelings for Hana. I never lied to you. You were never in doubt of that."

Sendoh flinched upon hearing those words. The pain he felt earlier temporary forgotten as anger for this cold unfeeling fox-eyed boy before him is slowly invading his system. Anger at Rukawa for being reminded again that he was always second to the 'aho, even when they were together, even while making love. No, Rukawa called it having sex. Love has never entered into their relationship, [at least not for Rukawa]. He was not 'allowed' to make love to Kaede. It was always him being taken. He had never experienced the pleasure of seeing the ice prince writhe with pleasure beneath him, screaming his name, pleading him to make him come. No, even that was reserved for his 'aho. That hurt more than anything. Closing his eyes, he tried to control the feelings raging inside him.

Sakuragi can't believe that the person in front of him is Mr. Charm and Smiley himself. [What kind of relationship did they have?] Glancing sideways, he saw his lover's expression did not change. Not even a flicker of emotion for the person in front of him. He just stared with that blank expression of his. Still holding his hand, he gave it a little squeeze, reminding him that he's there with him and that he understands. Kaede looked at him and just nodded. Returning his gaze to Sendoh, he can't help but feel sorry for the guy. He can understand the feeling of not being loved. He had the same fear with Kaede when they were starting. That feeling of uncertainty about their relationship or the feeling that maybe Rukawa is just playing with him, and lastly, the fear that maybe Rukawa does not love him. They never said the words… [until now].

Slowly he removed his hand from his silent boyfriend and approached the taller brunette. "Sendoh, I am sorry for your pain. Truly I am. But you need to go on. Forget Kaede. Find yourself a new love. Be happy. You deserve it." He said, softly touching his arm.

Sendoh's eyes snapped open. "Sorry? You're sorry?!" Shoving that hand away. "I don't need your pity Sakuragi. If there's one person to be pitied in this triangle, it's you."

Confused, "What do you mean by that?"

"Yeah, you. You are so naďve and so gullible. You have been easily manipulated by Rukawa and have you dancing to his tune right from the start. Did you know how obsessed he was of you?" Not hearing a response, he continued. "Guess not. Well then, let me tell you that your dear darling lover has had the hots for you since day 1. Yup since the two of you met."

Shocked was clearly registered in those clear brown eyes but, where this revelation is leading to still remains a mystery to Sakuragi. So he decided to stay silent.

Pleased with the bewildered expression on the redhead, "You still don't get it? My my my, and you call yourself a tensai. Sorry to burst your bubble Sakuragi, but you are no Tensai. I could always easily defeat you on the court, better looking, famous, and I have brains too. " He mocked. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." He paused. [Oh yes, I am definitely going to enjoy shattering your redhead's world Kaede, just like you've shattered mine.] "You were never a tensai in bed also. But I don't think Kaede minded that. He was too blinded by his lust for you, his obsession to take you and to have you."

"WHAT?!" Sakuragi's expression now is incredulous.

He sneaked a peak at his ex-lover and continued his tirade, "Yeah, I was there. Watching the show. I was only allowed to watch… to be the doorkeeper, in case one of your friends decided to show. I would have wanted to make it a threesome but Rukawa won't let me. He is just too damn selfish." He finished.

"I never… We never…." Sakuragi trailed, feeling suddenly chilled. "I don't know what you're getting at Sendoh."

"Of course you don't, it was almost a year and a half ago, you may have already forgotten about it. Besides, you were drunk. Rukawa and I had to support you all the way to your house."

[Yosh, that's the icing in the cake.] Looking on, he's satisfied to know that his words had the desiring effect on his audience. The redhead had gone completely white as sheet, drained of color except for the red crown on his head. His eyes had that blank look, staring but not really focusing… and Rukawa… [If I can't have you Kaede then I'll make sure that you will not live happily ever after with your newfound love.]… a look of horror crossed his handsome face.

"No!" Rukawa barely whispered. He shuts his eyes and prayed like he had never prayed before… to let this nightmare to end. He wished to wake up in their dorm with his Hana in his arms and Sendoh far away from them as possible.

*** Flashback ***

"Oi, Rukawa are you sure you wanna go through with this?" asked an uneasy Sendoh. Rukawa ignored him and has eyes only for the guy in front of him, obviously drunk and tipsy from all the liquor that he consumed. Even so, he still did not look less enticing, less alluring than he is at that moment. Rukawa can't help the feeling that is rising inside of him. He had tried to control it, masking it with that cold indifference he always shows to the annoying redhead. But tonight, tonight is different. He intends to act on 'that' feeling. He intends to make the `aho his. Even for just tonight. "Yes, I am definitely going through with this. Why? Are you backing out Sendoh? You can if you want to you know, but of course the deal has to be off."

"No… It's just that.. oh hell, let's get it over with." Taking something inside his jacket, he slowly dropped it in a glass. Slowly rousing the drunken guy with a light tap on the shoulder, "Oi Sakuragi, you are drunk… come on drink this… it'll lessen that queasiness you're feeling now."

"Uhmm, wha…what? I am not drunk Sendoh!" Sakuragi blurted. Slowly reaching out for the glass offered by the Ryonan player. He emptied the glass in one gulp, tipping the glass top down on the bar counter, he motioned to the Ryonan player that he could still drink another.

"Do'aho, you're drunk. We are getting out of here." Rukawa signaled the bartender for their bill. They need to go now. He hates to admit to himself that he might be making the biggest mistake of his life. But one look at the redhead always quells that feeling and replaced by something he had not experienced before. After the bill is settled, he and Sendoh had to support the still drunken redhead to his home.

The redhead lives alone, but Sendoh found out that he has frequent visitors like his Gundan coming and going whenever they please. So, upon reaching the redhead's tiny abode, he instructed Sendoh to keep watch.

He lay the 'aho on the bed. He called to him once, twice. Satisfied that the drug has taken its effect. He slowly undressed and when he's completely naked - even for Sendoh to see - he climbed onto the bed and started to kiss the unknowing boy. Tasting those lips were like wine to his senses. He is getting drunk by the 'aho's taste. He wanted more, needed more. Suddenly his actions went frantic. Stripping the redhead of all his clothing, he breathe in awe at how the moonlight shining through the window, gave the redhead's body an ethereal glow. He just can't restrain himself anymore. Feeding his hunger of the boy, he tasted every inch of Sakuragi, licking and nibbling his way downward, and when he reached that portion of the redhead's body, he sucked - hard. He heard a soft gasp and a moan coming from the boy. He tensed; looking up he saw that the other still has his eyes closed. Satisfied that Sakuragi is still under the influence of the drug, he continued his exploration and was satisfied upon tasting that salty liquid flowing out of the redhead and into his mouth. Captivated on how Sakuragi has responded to him, he is now deeply aroused. A deeper hunger has grown inside of him. He stared at the boy beneath him, tracing the contours of that fine muscled body with his finger. Reaching the redhead's face, he trailed his fingers on those open lips. Fascinated, he leaned forward and tasted the sweetness in them again. Slowly, he moved his other hand downward, and upon finding what his finger seeks, he probed. The body beneath him jolted from the sudden intrusion but it soon relaxed, sensing that the redhead is ready, he removed his finger and pushed hard into him. A cry was wrenched from the redhead and Rukawa swallowed it whole with his mouth. Knowing that the redhead is in pain, he reached down again and started massaging, giving pleasure to divert the other from the pain his action had caused. Slowly he felt Sakuragi responding to his coaxing, satisfied, he started moving. He felt rather than see the redhead's arms enfolding him, bringing their bodies closer, and swaying to the same rhythm. His body is writhing, being rocked by the pleasure being given to him. When Rukawa felt the `aho's body tensing, he doubled his efforts, wanting to pleasure Sakuragi. Wanting Sakuragi to remember this night in his subconscious. Hearing both their cries of pleasure, Rukawa fell forward. Hearing the erratic heartbeat beneath his ear, he sneaked a peak to look at his partner. His eyes are still closed; his breathing haggard and his arms already back on his side. Rukawa laid his head back on the latter's chest. Slipping his hands down, Rukawa entwined his fingers with Sakuragi's then lifted them up to his lips and tenderly kissed each finger one by one. He would have wanted to stay like that forever, but Sendoh's voice reminded him that they need to get out before the drug wears off. Sighing, he slowly removed himself from that tight haven, feeling suddenly empty. He quickly dressed himself. Before leaving, he covered the redhead with a blanket and ever so gently he kissed him again on the lips and softly whispered… "Please forgive me, Hana-kun."

*** End Flashback ***

Rukawa would have given anything if he could take that one night back. He has never shown remorse over anything, which had happened to him in the past, until now. That one blissful night just might cause him to loose Hanamichi forever. "NO!" Rukawa heard his lover exclaimed.

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